Newfound Freedom
by SilverJem5
Summary: She was stronger than the stupid curse, of that much she was sure. It wouldn't ruin her life any more. She wouldn't let it. OC characters, set in the Shadowhunter world.


**A/N: So I wrote this story using OC characters from a Roleplay. It's set in the Shadowhunter world, modern day. But I'm sorry that it probably won't make a lot of sense, unless you've read the rp, which you most likely haven't. I'll also warn you that it's quite dark in some parts.**

**So my characters are Steff and Loki, while Cole belongs to the amazing MortalShadowhunter, and Ross belongs to the magnificent Jillessa Heronstairs. You've probably heard of them already, but if you haven't, you should really check out their stories, because they're both amazing writers. :) And to both of you, I hope I've written both of your characters alright.**

**Also, **_**Italics**_** = her past at the London Institute, Normal font = present at the New York Institute**

* * *

**Newfound Freedom**

Moving from her home at the London Institute, to the Institute in New York changed her life. For better or worse, Steff didn't know. Probably better in the end, because despite all the tears and heartache, she found a newfound freedom.

She was stronger than the stupid curse, of that much she was sure. It wouldn't ruin her life any more.

She wouldn't let it.

* * *

_Clutching her dagger tightly in her small fist, Stephanie ducked down the alley, approaching the demon silently, from behind. People always told her that twelve was too young an age to go out on a hunt by herself. But she never listened. This was her chance to prove herself._

_The demon was tall, towering over her small form, and she held her hand still to keep it from shaking. She could make out its grey skin, and long, serpentine arms that ended in heads like an eel's._

_Raising her arm, she thrust the dagger towards its back, before as quickly as lightning, it turned around and grabbed her arm, using its strength to prevent her from thrusting downwards._

_If she'd thought the demon was fearsome from behind, the front was even worse. She couldn't help but gasp as her pale blue eyes looked up at the ruby-red eyes, like glittering jewels, and the mouth full of pointed teeth that jutted in every direction. It was like something out of a nightmare._

_Laughing, it looked down at her in amusement. Its voice was gravelly, as it spoke and cast the curse which sealed her fate._

"_Stephanie Tide, I curse you to do whatever someone orders you to do. As long as it is within your capabilities, you will have no choice but to follow the order."_

At the time, she'd thought it was a mercy, her not being killed.

But she was wrong.

* * *

One day she looked the meaning of the word 'curse' up in the dictionary.

Curse: _a formula or charm intended to cause such misfortune to another_.

Oh, how she knew that better than most. Misfortune, pain, misery, hardship, anxiety; all these words went hand-in-hand with the word, 'curse.'

And it was all she knew.

* * *

_Her parents were the first people she told about her curse. _

_It turned out to be a mistake. _

_Instead of being sympathetic, they were delighted, from that day forth deciding to use her for their own gain. _

_It started off with small things she didn't want to do, like cleaning their room and cooking their meals every night._

_Then, as she grew older, they made her steal things so they could increase their wealth, talk to influential members of the Clave in order to gather information on them, and listen in on private conversations._

_They never stopped using her, an opportunity like that, they just couldn't pass up. Even if it was their own daughter._

_She knew she had to escape._

* * *

Then she met Cole. At first he acted curious, nice even. Offering to help her find a book in the library. But then his true nature showed, and it was too late.

Too late to get help, too late to run away, too late to do anything but stand helplessly before him. Because he knew about the curse.

He said he wanted her to help him.

He'd called her _perfect. Unassuming. Easy to control. _All those things she hated being.

He wanted her to spy on his enemy, Mason, to get close enough to him to learn something interesting. And to pose as his girlfriend to help keep up the pretence.

He was just like her parents, using her for his own means, like a pawn in a game of chess.

* * *

_Then there was her half-brother, Loki. He was trouble, just like his namesake. Their father had spoilt him too much, and he was used to getting what he wanted. _

_He took pleasure in ordering her around and having complete control over someone. In fact, he often saw her as more of a slave than a human being like himself. _

_He made her do everything for him, wash his clothes, iron them, buy him lunch, clean his room, get some girl to go with him to a party, win a gambling game, or anything else he wanted. _

_And if she didn't do it exactly how he wanted it, he'd punish her. _

_One time she'd gotten him a hamburger, as ordered to, but forgot to ask for no beetroot, which he hated with a passion. _

_When he'd found out, he'd thrown it onto the ground, swearing and grabbing her wrist tightly. _

_He'd ordered her to burn her hand on a hot pan. And she'd done it, since she hadn't had a choice._

_Then, later on, she dropped his glass of water, and he'd made her walk on the broken glass. She cried out at the pain, before biting her lip hard, and drawing blood._

_She hadn't meant to order beetroot or drop the glass, they were both an accident. But he didn't care, he was fuelled by his emotions and quick to temper, with a penchant for using violence. He took a sick pleasure in it._

_And what better way to punish her than to order her to hurt herself?_

* * *

No one ever understood, they all just thought she was shy, reclusive, introverted, insecure. But she wasn't really at all. In fact, she didn't even know who she was.

What she did know was that she was scared of everyone. Each person she met was a potential enemy, someone else who could use her like her parents and brother did.

Most people she met assumed that she didn't like saying 'no.' That she was easily agreeable to their demands. She found it was all in the phrasing though, people had to actually order her to do something, not simply ask her to.

She thought being alone would fix her problems. But she was lonely and bored, finding herself staring out the window when she'd had enough of reading.

It was in moments like these she hated her life. Hated her family. Hated the demon who did this to her.

But she calmed her mind, and tried to get past it. Hatred was an ugly feeling; she despised the very feeling itself.

* * *

She especially hated it when Cole called her '_love_.'

"Of course, _love_."

"Don't worry, _love_."

"Come on, _love_."

"You're going to have to take care of yourself, _love_."

"You can't always do everything you want, _love_."

"I'll see you later,_ love_."

He tainted the very meaning of the word, when he said it so mockingly, just because he knew it would annoy her. Steff was almost certain he didn't know the meaning of the word.

He couldn't.

* * *

"I order you to override any order that does not come from me."

They were the words that changed her life. However, Cole was the one who uttered them. So no one else could order her around except him.

She didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse. She couldn't even imagine not having to do what other people told her to. Maybe it was a good thing after all.

She could almost taste the freedom.

* * *

Her room was always tidy, just like the braid she always wore her long, honey blonde hair in.

But, paying no heed to her privacy, Cole strolled in and told her to get ready. For what exactly, he wouldn't say.

Sighing, she did as he asked. He ordered her around less and less lately, instead asking her to do things. There was little difference really, as she knew, but to her it meant a lot. At least she had a choice – kind of. At least she could do things the way and the speed she wanted to.

Once she was ready, she walked back towards him. "Where are we going?" she asked, once again, hating being left in the dark.

Smirking, he reached out and wrapped his hand around her wrist, something which he did often. "I'm in a good mood, so I'm taking you out. You should feel lucky."

"I'm thrilled," she replied sarcastically. "I'm sure you just want to keep up your pretence of being my 'boyfriend.'"

Leaning towards her, he whispered in her ear, "Now, now, love, no need to get riled up. We'll have a good time," he promised. She shivered at the heat of his breath against her neck, and took a step backwards.

Looking smug, he pulled her along by her wrist, out the door and down the halls, until they made it outside. She didn't argue, having tried to pull her wrist away too many times in the past.

They finally reached their destination, after Cole made a few comments about how slow she was, and pulled her along faster. Looking up at the sign, she sighed again. "A bar?"

Instead of answering, he smirked and led her inside. Choosing a table he gestured for her to sit down, and then sat down across from her. Hailing a waiter, he ordered some drinks, which she didn't recognise by name.

Taking his time, he leaned back in his seat, and stared at her thoughtfully. "How's it going with Mason? Does he trust you yet?"

She bit her lip, pulling her braid over her shoulder, and playing with it absentmindedly. "Not exactly. But he's talking to me. That's good… right?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes, yes," he agreed, with fake reassurance. "He's a stubborn one. But how can he get rid of such a young, innocent, sweet girl such as yourself?"

Glancing down at the table, she considered how to reply, as the waiter placed their drinks on the table. Looking at the drink like it was a foreign object, she stated, "I don't drink alcohol."

"You do tonight," he smirked, taking a sip of his own. "Drink it."

Picking up her glass against her will, she took a long sip, making a face at the bitter aftertaste.

"Good," he murmured, watching her intently. "Now, tell me what you've learnt so far."

So she told him, opening up more and more as she finished the drink, and he ordered another. This time she was losing control because of something other than her curse, this time, it was the alcohol.

Her tolerance was low due to her small stature, and she found herself saying things she wouldn't usually say. She'd always thought her mind was her sanctuary, that no one else could touch it. Sure, they could control her physically, but not mentally or emotionally. But she'd been wrong, this was worse.

And Cole enjoyed every moment of it, deeply amused at her unusual words and attitude. She wished she could wipe the smirk off his face.

Having finally tired of toying with her, he took her back to the Institute, laughing at the fact she would feel sick tomorrow.

Holding a hand to her head, she leaned against her bedroom wall, feeling light-headed and dizzy. Eventually crawling over to her bed, she laid down and pressed her face on her pillow, finally letting the tears fall, and soak the pillow slip.

* * *

She'd thought that she had no friends, until she met Ross, the boy who moved here from Thailand.

Sure, it had been awkward talking to him at first, since both of them were almost painfully shy. But she saw him around the Institute more and more frequently, and was eventually able to get him to strike up a conversation with her.

Every time she caught sight of his dark chocolate brown hair and tan skin, she immediately felt better, feeling safer in his presence than anyone else's. He was forgetful, so much so, that sometimes she wondered if he even remembered her, but he was also kind, and cared about her wellbeing. More than anyone else ever had before.

* * *

Ross's dark eyes met hers, before looking away. "Would you like to go and get something to eat?" he asked tentatively, almost as if he thought she would say no. But saying no was not her specialty, especially not to him.

"Of course," she replied with a smile, walking over towards him.

Ross was so thoughtful, so kind, if only more people were like him, the world would be a better place. In a way, she felt jealous of his simple life. He hadn't known the horrors she had. But she knew it was better her than him.

As they sat down at the café, she couldn't help but glance at him shyly over the table as he talked.

_If things had been different_… But they weren't, she reminded herself. She was stuck as Cole's 'girlfriend,' and she certainly didn't want Ross getting into trouble because of her. Cole had ordered her not to tell anyone, and she knew there would be consequences if she somehow managed to involve anyone else.

She would protect Ross. If that was the only good thing she could do, then so be it.

* * *

As they walked back, Ross glanced at her sidelong. "Do you always wear your hair like that?" he asked.

Steff pulled her braid over her shoulder, playing with the ends out of habit. "Yes, I always wear it in a braid. It's hard to explain... but it's sort of a habit now. Letting my hair out feels really... intimate. I'm sort of scared to for some reason."

In a suddenly bold move, Ross brushed his fingers over the woven plait. "I'm sure it looks beautiful." He trailed his hand down the length. "I wish you would take it out someday."

She immediately blushed a deep red, looking down at the ground shyly, rather than at him. "Maybe I will someday."

Ross smiled slightly, moving back away and heading down the street.

Following him, she mourned what could have been.

* * *

Cole called her many different names.

_Pet._

_Prize._

_Weapon._

_Pretty. _

_Love._

_Stephanie_.

She'd long since avoided that particular name, it reminded her of her parents too much, for they'd called her that too. Steff was her new name, the one she'd picked for her fresh start.

But there was never really such thing as a fresh start, now was there?

* * *

Her parents had never finished training her properly. After all, what was the point of training someone who could be so useful in so many other ways?

So she was careful to avoid hunts, or anything involving demons. She hated it when people thought she was lazy, but there was nothing she could do.

When Cole found out, he was incredulous.

Much to her own disbelief, he'd wanted her to train.

There was moments like these where he actually seemed to care.

But she always reminded herself of the fact that he didn't. As he'd said himself,_ "physical pain is cheap. Psychological pain," He'd said, his voice lowering, "Is even worse."_

He had actually given her the freedom of choosing who could train her. She'd been thrilled at the extra freedom, but had struggled to find anyone else who would do it. Most people would ask her why she was so bad, and she didn't want to tell them. Out of options, she had asked Cole.

He had readily agreed, and she knew it was a bad idea.

However, he was surprisingly a really good teacher. He taught her nearly every day, and often went out on hunts with her as well.

At first she'd been scared of seeing a demon again, after the incident those five years ago. But as her confidence increased, she pushed down the fear, finding a newfound strength.

She even found herself enjoying the training sessions, and trusting Cole's opinion fully as a teacher. Occasionally, they even seemed to get along.

But she should have known the peace would never last.

* * *

Loki was here in New York to bring her back.

She heard the news before she even saw him.

Leaning against the wall for support, she had held a hand to her racing heart, pushing down the feeling of sickness. Her past had finally caught up with her.

Now there was Loki and Cole, two of her enemies in the same Institute. However, she knew she hated Loki more than Cole. Cole had never hurt her physically, besides minor things like holding her wrist too tightly. He wasn't quite as scary as Loki was to her.

So she found herself hoping that her second worst enemy would protect her from her worst enemy.

* * *

Finding her, Loki grinned maliciously, grabbing her arm and digging his nails into her arm, deep enough to draw blood.

Biting her lip, she had no choice to let him drag her into her own room, where he said they would have peace and quiet to 'talk.'

He'd already found out about Cole's order, which meant he couldn't order her around himself, and he wasn't happy. In fact, he was seething in anger.

She let out a small cry of pain as he thrust her up against the wall, knocking the breath from her.

But at that moment, Cole had come in and pulled Loki away from her. Relieved, she'd hid behind Cole as he'd defended her, managing to make Loki retreat.

It was funny that he was now her protector of sorts.

In fact, she almost saw him in a new light, when he'd promised to protect her.

* * *

She'd begged Cole not to change his mind, and not to reverse his order, offering him anything.

She'd do _anything_ for him, except kill someone. She'd even offered companionship.

But he'd merely laughed at her, enjoying her pleading.

But even that was better than going back… right?

* * *

Eventually, although she didn't know why, he decided he didn't want her anymore, reversing his order and letting her go.

She was immediately dismayed at the thought of Loki controlling her, and managed to convince Cole to keep an order standing that she didn't have to obey Loki's orders.

And then the sun seemed to shine again. She was no worse off than when she'd come here, and now Loki couldn't order her around.

She'd discovered a newfound freedom.

* * *

She had a chance now to be with Ross. She could go to him right now. But she didn't, she was too much of a coward. Or was she?

Maybe he wasn't the right one for her. Maybe he was too naïve, too untarnished, too trustworthy, like she had been a long time ago. Maybe she didn't feel worthy enough after all she'd done.

Then there was Cole, and she couldn't decide how she felt about him.

_She liked him, she hated him, and then she liked him again_. It was like a strange repeating cycle.

But in the end, she was grateful for all he'd done for her. He'd helped to train her, protect her from her brother and make her stronger. Despite his reasons for doing these things, she knew she'd be eternally grateful.

Maybe it was better to be without feelings, when they were as confusing as hers.

* * *

Steff was no longer the girl she used to be. Sure, she was still shy and timid, but she was stronger than before.

She had friends now, something she'd never really had before. There was Ross, Dominic, the twins – Caleb and Connor, Chris, Eli, Caleb, Layla, and on some occasions, Cole. She was no longer alone.

She kept training herself, reading books on Shadowhunting and practicing on her own, wanting to gain some strength and skill. Wanting to _be_ something.

And finally, she found she had the courage to let her hair down.

* * *

**A/N: So it's not one of my best pieces of work, and I've never written in a style like this before, so please excuse the changes in tense and the lack of a flow.**

**If you read all this, even though you weren't on the forum, I congratulate you, and hope at least some of it makes sense.**

**~ SilverJem5**


End file.
